Sunday, May 22, 2011

Out of Step

Recently I've had a sense that things aren't 'quite right' and haven't been for a while. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

I've been out of step with the rhythm of my life. I've been feeling overwhelmed and anxious - too much choice and not enough 'time'.

I've begun to think seriously about the reality I'm creating - particularly because in a couple of years time I anticipate some major changes.

So the reality I've been pondering will look something like this............
  • Small dwelling - off grid, near water, little bit of land a garden really - maybe in community maybe not - if not in community then near like minded people.
  • Grow veg, chickens, eat local, eat communally.
  • Create - spin, knit, weave, sew, write
  • Doula / Antenatal Teacher - supporting families during their pregnancies, birth and afterwards in many, many ways - classes, 1:1, Doula, birth art, natal hypnotherapy, homebirth groups.
Just thinking about it makes my soul sing - I can visualise the rhythm of the days, the swell of the evening, the change of the seasons, the smell of the rain, the warmth of the stove and the simplicity of the food - whilst in step with my tribe.

Of course some of that I already have - I spin knit and sew, I work with families during pregnancy and birth. It's not much but it's a start

So I know what I'm aiming for and each and every day I do one more thing that puts me closer to that reality.

I've been thinking and dreaming a lot during the last couple of weeks and I've noticed something happen. The more time I spend in the new reality the more in step I've started to feel, I've got the rhythm of that life. Even though it's not here yet it feels so right.

Sitting quietly this morning allowing my thoughts to wonder I realised what was wrong.

Eighteen months ago when we moved from the country to the town it was for all the right reasons and it's been a good move. Dalesboy can have the right amount of independence for a teenager and whilst we juggle four jobs between two of us being in town is useful.

But I've lost the rhythm of nature. The streetlights mean I only realise the passage of the Moon by the lunar calendar on the wall. I know the elderflowers are out because someone on facebook posts a picture. I know what the weather is doing because my phone tells me.

So in a couple of years time I'm looking to create my new reality in pace with nature, aligning myself with the rhythm of the seasons, the ebb and flow of the Sun and Moon.

Next step is to look for my tribe - I'm starting in Wales in July..................


Unconventional Us said...

love it... and I know the feeling x

Kim said...

Oh Samantha your future reality feels perfect...for you....for me!

Oppitai Baby Carriers said...

I'm really looking forward to hearing how your future pans out and the shape it takes. You're brave and amazing. I love your gentle dreams Samantha.